POSTAL 2 — Overachiever

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked: 2017-04-07

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Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked: 2016-09-26

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It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked: 2017-04-07

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Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked: 2016-09-26

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Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked: 2016-07-01

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I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked: 2017-03-16

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OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked: 2017-03-16

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Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked: 2017-03-16

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Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked: 2016-09-24

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Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked: 2016-09-28

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Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked: 2016-09-28

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It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked: 2017-03-16

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R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked: 2016-09-26

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I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked: 2017-03-17

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Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Secret achievement

Unlocked: 2017-03-17

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Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked: 2016-09-26

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Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

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One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

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Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

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Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

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I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

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Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

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Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

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Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

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Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

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Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

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Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

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Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

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Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

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Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

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FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

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Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

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Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

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Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

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Gary vs. The K. Man

Hidden achievement.

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GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

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It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

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Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

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Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

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Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

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Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

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I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Hidden achievement.

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Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

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And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

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Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

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Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

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John Rambo'd!

Hidden achievement.

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You are not alone

Hidden achievement.

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I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

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Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

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Ladies Love Cake

Hidden achievement.

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PooMasher

Hidden achievement.

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Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

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Hobo Sexual

Hidden achievement.

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Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

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Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

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My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

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Ginger Mint

Hidden achievement.

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Dick Message

Hidden achievement.

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GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

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Ape Gape

Hidden achievement.

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RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

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Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

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Ode to Eddings

Hidden achievement.

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You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

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Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

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Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

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Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

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BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

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Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

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Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

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Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

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Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

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Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

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I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

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Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

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SCREW that game!

Hidden achievement.

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Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

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There's always money in the banana stand

Hidden achievement.

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CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

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Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

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40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

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Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

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I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

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It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

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Found 'em faster than GWB

Hidden achievement.

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C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

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OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

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Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

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🏆 POSTAL 2